The Thursday before the big day, I went to my boss to ask for that day to be my last day at the office - for the safety of myself and others. At this point, I could barely move or walk and I definitely wasn't sleeping. The night before, I had a slight emotional breakdown...I was just frustrated with every move causing pain, particularly when I got into my car that night to go home after church. Final straw type of thing. Additionally, I felt bad for feeling that way when a friend of mine had just delivered her baby via emergency c-section at around 33 weeks and they would have been glad to keep their baby on the inside!
Friday, after a night of even less than what was average sleep for me, I visited said friend in the hospital. I hoped my presence on the maternity ward would clue Emersen in that it was time to make her arrival. I think the nurses thought I should have checked myself in. My legs had swelled even more, all the way up, and my thighs were now rubbing against each other. My feet tingled because of swelling and no position was comfortable. My lovely friend Kelli kindly pointed out how large I was at that point as well. While visiting her, my ob/gyn called me - the actual doctor, not the office - and he wanted to check in on me and remind me that he was on call the next day (Saturday). Dr. Looff has, from the beginning, had the attitude of never wanting to induce labor unless medically necessary - and I quote "even if your husband is going to Iraq." He said he would only induce someone if they're cervix was induce-able. So, he called and reminded me that he would be on call on Saturday and felt certain we could "make magic" if I was really uncomfortable and decided to come in. He mentioned it being less busy and something about having choice of rooms, etc. Having committed to letting things happen naturally, especially when I hadn't reached my due date, I told him I wasn't sure about that, but he could schedule me to be induced the following week if I made it to my appointment with him. He said he would pencil me in; he had mentioned that it would be busier then than on the weekend. He instructed me to come to the labor hall if I decided I had had enough and let them know I was having pains and that Dr. Looff told me to come in.
So Friday night, I didn't sleep. Saturday we didn't have anything going on. The weekend would be more convenient for others. I had some family in town. I had been praying about it; I didn't want to wimp out, to be selfish and risk baby's health just because I was hurting. But when your doctor calls YOU with the offer, it's hard to resist. Especially because he doesn't advocate inducing. But also it would be great to know Dr. Looff would be there for the delivery, that it was better to go on the weekend when it's not busy. Plus, two people who had delivered at Central Baptist recently during the week had told me the hospital had cancelled inductions because of lack of rooms. I would have hated to have that happen. Praying about it, I thought of the illustration about people being stranded in the middle of the ocean and praying for God to rescue them. And a boat comes by and they say "No, God will rescue me," and the helicopter comes by and they say, "No, God will rescue me." And then they perish and ask God why He didn't rescue them. God reminds them of the helicopter and boat He sent to their aid. I didn't want to miss my rescue just because it wasn't what I expected or planned.
Saturday came and we decided we would go in and see what would happen. We arrived at 10am. I was more worried about "lying" about labor when we were checking in. But they just took us back to the largest room, because it was Saturday we got first choice. They hooked me up to the machines and checked my dilation. They said I hadn't gotten to the point where they would keep me, that I might be more comfortable at home until I was farther along. But the nurses said they would let Dr. Looff know and see what he wanted to do. The funny thing was that the hospital bed was SO comfortable for a pregnant lady - I definitely wouldn't be more comfortable at home. Dr. Looff came in and had a different result for how dilated I really was (sorry nurses) and said I was about 4 cm (a short time later he said 4 -5) so I think he thought I was already heading that direction anyhow. I was actually having lower back pain the night before and during the day but no different than I had had before. Dr. Looff offered to break my water to help the process progress since we were there and then administer a little Pitocin to be sure things continued to progress since my water would be broken. We agreed to the plan.
At around 12:30pm, Dr. Looff broke my water. Fairly soon after, I could feel contractions starting - mild, like period cramps mostly. Still in my back. I shot off a couple of texts to let some people know what was going on. Called my parents, etc. Soon though, with the pain, these things weren't a priority. They gave my some Pitocin and then the real pain started. Constant and horrible back pain. It felt like someone took a knife and stabbed me in the lower back and then twisted the knife around and around. I think some pain wrapped around my body and abdomen, but it was mostly in my back. And the contractions came one on top of the other. There was no looking at the monitor and getting ready for the next. There was no relief in between. AND the nurses made me lie on my side the entire time, which was THE least uncomfortable position for me while pregnant - it caused me great discomfort. The nurses were having Wes push on my lower back really hard to counteract the pain - to confuse the nerves and to help push the baby's head off my spine (the cause of back pain). However, while Wes is a master at massage and willing to do anything to help me, he couldn't keep constant pressure strong enough to provide relief. Finally, I think after a solid hour of these contractions, I realized Wes couldn't keep doing the pressure thing and it wasn't really working anyway. Plus, they were making me be on my side, which wasn't part of our pain management plan. SO - I asked for an epidural. We had told them that we wanted to go as long as possible au natural. They sent a gal in that said "You had wanted to go natural, are you sure?" YES LADY I'M SURE! So I had to get additional fluids for 10-15 minutes first (they should tell you about this....) and finally the wonderful man came in with the epidural.
Finally, FINALLY, the pain stopped. First, no pain but great pressure, but then finally, it was gone. I was GREAT after that. Because of the epidural, the nurses had to do a catheter and then they checked me again to see how dilated I was. The nurse said, "Well, there's the baby's head and there's no cervix. You're 10cm now." So, my mom was right about having a quick labor such that I might get to the pushing point quickly and could do it without an epidural. However, they hadn't checked me first before asking for the epidural and really I didn't care because that pain was starting to make me feel sick and barfing was NOT going to be part of my birthing experience.
At this point, they said they would let the contractions continue to help Emersen get lower and ready to come into the world without me having to do anything or feel anything. So, we had some family come in to visit and I was feeling great! It was around 2 something at this point. My parents arrived from Louisville. The nurses were going to have me start pushing soon. At about 3 pm, the nurses got me in position to push. They coached me on what I would be doing to push, especially since I had an epidural. They had me start pushing before Dr. Looff came in. But, they had told me that her head was about a fingertips length away. I thought that it would happen pretty fast then.
Once we got the show on the road, things progressed, but it didn't really seem too quickly. Dr. Looff was great - he waited until true progress to even put all his scrubs on and everything - he's such a pro! The nurses were great, he was great, Wes was great. We soon knew she had a full head of hair, which was encouragement for me because I had wanted that so bad! Wes then says "I think she has big ears!" but later amended that she didn't really (whew!). Dr. Looff worked hard at pushing my stomach and abs to get her out and once it was time for her body, they had me lie on my back and really they all did the rest. I had to have an oxygen mask for a while during the pushing to help make sure Emersen got enough oxygen. Once she was out, Dr. Looff starts commenting that we have a fairly large baby, perhaps 9 lbs. There was talk of how robust the umbilical cord was (I never saw it). The time was 3:54pm.
When Dr. Looff broke my water, he noticed some meconium, which became a concern. When Emersen was born, they took her quickly to suction any of it out before letting her cry so she wouldn't aspirate any of it. They continued to work on her and clean her up and finally they weighed her. This was the biggest moment of the day - 10 lb 14 oz baby! Holy crap! (And those were my exact words, by the way...and "oh my lord.") And she was 22 1/2 inches long. Big ol' baby! The nurses called her "chunk of love."
From beginning to end, it was 12:30 pm to 3:54 pm. Wow. And thank the Lord, in all seriousness, that I got the epidural. That would have been unbearable I believe. Dr. Looff said if we had any reason to believe she was that big, we may have been discussing a c-section. And thank the Lord, in all seriousness, that we went ahead instead of letting her grow any more or to allow any more meconium to be present. And family could be there and we got the room we wanted and we got into a mother/baby room with the Tempurpedic full size bed. Thank you Lord for my helicopter rescue!
My mom apparently, upon finding out I just gave birth to an almost 11lb baby, said I was one helluva woman. My Dr. couldn't believe that a baby that big had just come out of me - neither could the nurses. And neither can anyone else that we've encountered since. They say I'm quite a woman, their hero, etc. It was NOT me. That was the most out of control I've been in any situation ever and there wasn't anything I did that was spectacular. I didn't have a choice on the size of the baby or the method of delivery or anything like that. I had to rely on my doctor and nurses to push. And I opted for an epidural after only an hour - many others have much longer labor. So, just so you know - it was all God. The way all the events lined up, went so smoothly and quickly - simply the most amazing blessings we could have ever asked for. And that's usually how God works - He answers prayers way above and beyond what I could have even prayed for!
That's a long story with a lot of details. But this blog is sort of my journal so I wanted to share most of the details. Obviously with childbirth, it's an extremely intimate as well as gross and personal experience - I can share more details upon request, haha. But it wasn't scary or nerve-wracking - there's God again with his peace which transcends all understanding - and it didn't seem like a life-changing experience or anything at the time. It just happened and I was so happy that pregnancy was over and we could move on.
I do understand now that it is more difficult once they are on the outside. And there has definitely been more pain and discomfort of a different kind. I haven't slept many consecutive hours but it's definitely better sleep than the last month of my pregnancy.
We're adjusting to our new normal and it helps that Emersen is so darn cute! She's changing all the time - fortunately her swelling went down. She looked like a big fat boy baby when she came out. We're still working on her eating/feeding and she has a fussy period from about 10pm to 12am each night - but we're working on it. She's still new and so are we. Wes is great with her and smitten with her as well, of course.
Thanks to all of you who have shared congratulations, best wishes, food, cake, presents, clothes, time, prayers, etc - it means so much to have so many caring for us at this time. I'll have to post some of the pictures of cakes people have made for us. I'll be posting more and more pictures soon - we just love taking her picture. We're just so glad she's finally here!
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