From Me to You

I have been missing for like 3 weeks from the blog. Oops.

I plan to get back on track.

Over the past few months of becoming a stay at home mom, I've had varying levels of adjustments to make. I had to develop a new routine for both Emersen and myself. As we've gotten used to that, we've become "busy" and it's been hard to do the blogging. Additionally, I've mentioned my technology issues. Well, today I was going to upload some pictures and now my storage on Google/Blogger has reached its limit. What the what? So now I have to figure that out.

I will say, frankly, that October was a rough month. And November flew by so fast. Emersen turning two proved to provide many unpredictable moments for us all. Where the routine we had in place ensured predictability, this age for my kiddo negates it all. Em has had some adjusting to do with me being at home with her at all times. This included making it a tear-filled ordeal to leave her in the church toddler class, which she loves. Additionally, she didn't like her dad for about a week last month. And now, when Em wakes from her nap, she's very whiney and clingly. Sometimes even shaky/jittery. This didn't help my anxiety issues that I was having about her getting sick, etc. I am just lacking in compassion and patience when Emersen acts this way for what I see as "no reason." But that's what I'm working on personally. I have had to change the way I speak to Emersen and foster flexibility for how to deal with a situation because what worked yesterday may not work today.

Through all of this, I turned to reading my Bible more regularly and faithfully. I now read, to myself and out loud (Em says "Mommy talk" to ask me to read out loud) at the breakfast table to start my day. And usually I try to follow a daily devotion on my Bible app on my phone. I've become dependent on prayer as well - which is how it's supposed to be, I just had to learn it through needing it, which illustrates when God says in the Bible that we see his strength in our weakness. I hadn't always been able to pray out loud on my own, like by myself, but now Em confuses when I talk to myself and says "Mommy's praying" because I'll do it in the car or kitchen. I think I sort of always thought you were good at self discipline if you could read your Bible and pray daily, but the truth of it is that it takes humility and submission to do it. It takes realizing that you can't do anything on your own long term and dependence on God's words and guidance as well as a personal relationship with Christ; this is the only way I can function.

I say all of this to say that I personally have been going through some stuff, with the result being a greater dependence on Jesus. It's been a time of refining in the fire - a tiny, kindling fire comparatively to others of course - but it's been good. I say all of this to say to others maybe dealing with anxiety or depression or frustration to turn to God's word. Literally just reading God's word holds power just because it's God's word. Just read it to read it, even if you're not sure it's applicable. Because it is. There is power in the name of Jesus. And I say all of this to be transparent because there have been times that FINALLY I got into real conversation with someone only to learn they struggle with something. WE ALL DO. And I say all of this to say that I'll be updating the blog soon hopefully! Upcoming are pictures of Emersen, us at the zoo, and playing outside, and other gems. I have to get caught up because then I'll have to post pictures from all of our Christmas celebrations too!

Also, I want to tell you all about a book I just read as well so that will come soon.

Finally, I know the blog is read by people that I don't talk to regularly and/or people that I'm not even aware are reading the blog. Know that I love hearing that people are reading and I love how the blog creates that connection between us. If I can be there for you if you're going through something, or if I can pray for you in some way, I really would love to do that. Feel free to message me on Facebook privately or email me mcooper1019@gmail.com to share. Thanks friends!