What Should I Do?

¹³ Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. ¹⁷ If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.  (James 4)

I have missed most of our current message series at church on the book of James. Between being in Louisville training for wedding coordination and then being outside during church for registration/service coordinating, I haven't been in service in awhile. But I've been reading James each week to keep up. Sometimes at the breakfast table, I read out of my Bible to Emersen.
Em: "Mommy Bible."
Me: "Yes, this is mommy's Bible. Do you want me to read it?"
Em: "Dah" (yeah) or her newest answer to questions, "Yes." (Very deliberately spoken.)

Well I can't say no to that. So as I wanted to keep up with James, that's what we read. And yesterday, feeling a little aimless lately and wondering about timing for purchases, for career moves, for family planning, I sat down wanting to seek out some guidance in God's word. I remembered I hadn't read the lastest chapter in James and opened to it. Lo and behold came this passage of scripture. For context, the previous verses (check it out here) are about humility and submitting to God. I mean, that could be another blog post of course. Needless to say, as a Christian, that is something I do. I submit to God. I live for His purposes and pleasure, not my own. At least, I try.

Moving on to the final verses of chapter 4 of James. How freeing, right? I can make plans, the "best laid plans," but God's will is our end goal. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. Scary? Yes. Freeing? Yes. Confusing? I'm trying not to be. But because we are "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" I know that the things valued by a lot of people here on earth aren't really valuable. This changes how things and decisions get prioritized, doesn't it?
What job should I have? What house should we live in? Where should we live? What church should we go to? When should we have another kid? How much money do we need to retire? These are thought provoking questions that shouldn't be answered or decided on without consideration. But my answer won't always be the "right" answer. As in, my answer might not make sense to others, maybe even most others. My answer might not align with the Today Show's financial expert or the community report on Where to Live with the Best Schools. Here is my point: I have to say "If the Lord wills..." I can try to schedule and plan when to try to get pregnant and have another child. But if the Lord wills it, or doesn't, that's when it will happen. Same for where we live or how we live. Plain & simple. I just forget this sometimes. I forget that I'm not in control. I forget that my God is bigger than my plans, my health issues, my financial requirements and I can keep going.if you want.
Anyhow. I loved seeing on Facebook the other day when an acquaintance mentioned that a friend had advised her to open her Bible for some reading when she was feeling down. The acquaintance is someone I don't think reads her Bible regularly. And it was really awesome advice from the friend. And she found peace within the words, and then shared it with others on Facebook. Number 1 : that's why Facebook is amazing when used for good; Number 2: that's why I'm sharing on my blog. These verses, like the rest of the Bible, are words straight from God. They're powerful and never changing. And His words can provide peace in a crazy world.

Updates

Update #1 : Emersen is ridiculous. Daily. And we LOVE it.

Update #2: I will be leaving my current job at the end of June. I haven't finalized the date. Through much prayer and thought, then with some confirmation through circumstances, I gave a couple months notice. Ultimately, the reason for this decision/action is to pursue our goal of me being an at-home mom.What prompted the action finally was actually the book we've been going through in our connect group. It's called In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, by Mark Batterson, that offered the challenge to really rely on faith instead of risk management. Some point from the book include living in such as way that you have stories to tell about your life, to live on purpose, to seize opportunities as they present themselves, and to adjust your lens through which you view situations so as to see them as opportunities. God created us on purpose and for a purpose. The author challenges us to do a gut check on if we're really living for God's purpose or our own. Often the things God calls us to do, through His word or the interests/passions He has given us, seem like the wrong thing at the wrong time. Instead, it's through the impossible odds that it becomes obvious that anything good is from God.

Through reading the book, I had to confront the reality that we had goals that we weren't meeting and we weren't relying on God to provide a way to achieve our goal. Additionally, I'm not in a job position that I would describe as my dream job. Now, I'm sure some think this sounds idealistic or even naive to discuss a dream job or stupid to pursue your dream job despite obvious risk. I really feel that being a stay-at-home mom is my dream job, right now. If I could do anything and not have to think about money or responsibility, that is what I would do. But more than this, through my involvement in our new church, I've been introduced to the idea of a "sweet spot." The idea that God created us on purpose and for a purpose, and created us in His image, has become a reality to me through my positions at church. I am getting to be the person God created me to be, i.e. be myself, and do work in His name, and ENJOY it at the same time. This is the definition of a dream job to me. I am hoping to find some non-traditional work to do to supplement our income that will allow me to be home with Em, and Lord willing, additional children. We don't know what this looks like yet, but we've always been provided for and know this will continue.

Wes told our small group last week that he is praying big prayers in this situation. He is praying that there will be a job I love beyond my wildest dreams. He is praying that we will learn about our priorities and goals through this situation. He is praying for big things for our family. I love this man.

Update #3: Emersen is 18 months old now! We had her check up today with the doctor I've come to appreciate at PAA - Dr. Hood. Em was AMAZING at the doctor today. The past few times that she has been, she started crying as soon as she got behind the door. Today the big girl stood on the scale herself (well baby doll helped), and was awesome being measured, waiting, and didn't cry until she actually received her shot. What a champ!

Weight: 27 lbs (83%)

Height: 34 1/2 inches (97%)

Yes, my 18 month old is almost 3 feet tall. Wow. We talked with the doctor about talking and verbal development. Emersen has been adding words at a much faster rate the past 2 weeks or so. In her vocab currently:

mama

dadda

gaga (my mom)

pappap (my dad)

gigi (great grandma)

ruff (sound dog makes)

quack quack (sound duck makes)

ooh ooh aah aah (sound monkey makes)

E I O (sound old macdonald makes)

dots (polka dots)

clock (points to it)

bye bye

night night

ice (says when she hears the ice maker)

grass

Jesus

down

yes

pee pee

go go

garbage (when there is a diaper to throw away)

uh oh (probably like 50 times a day)

At this age, Dr. Hood says its normal for them to have their own word for items. Items that she has words for that I can't spell/say:

down please

help please

diaper

blanket

up

please

thank you

airplane

jellybean

She still signs "please" and "more" for the most part. But she understands almost everything. I'm AMAZED regularly by what she comprehends. And she is mimicing much more these days. Push ups, sit ups, putting on earrings, rubbing hands together, eating, cleaning ears, putting on lotion.

Other weird/funny things she does: when someone besides Wes or I pick her up when she asks to be picked up, she points to her shoes to show the person. She often kisses others on the lips. She likes to watch our cars leave the driveway from the front sidelight windows. She helps my mom with laundry by taking clothes out of the dryer. She is still afraid of the vaccuum cleaner, and maybe the salad spinner. But she didn't hesitate in touching a wooly worm. She's on the fence about stickers. We're working on her running skills, but let's be honest, if she got my genes, she's probably out of luck.

I think that covers enough for now. Had to make up for not posting for a week. I was without a camera battery for a while, but have it back. I'll have pictures soon.

Oh and about the picture of Em on a potty. She's showing interest so we're going to start working with her on potty training ready-ness. Doing pull up diapers. Letting her pee without a diaper to learn what peeing is and that she doesn't like to do it on herself. Stay tuned!

Baby Needs, Part 2

Now, hear me out on the monitor advice.  You don't need a video monitor until they start rolling around. I promise. When they're tiny, they don't move. No worries. However, when they start moving around, and particularly when they can roll over, they get stuck in some positions. Babies usually learn to roll over first, but it takes awhile to learn how to roll back over. On purpose. And they can roll over against the slats and it hurts their head. Hurts like it's uncomfortable, not hurts them really. Anyway, we got the monitor that is the picture I've shown. It's the Summer Infant 02620 Day Night Baby Video Monitor. And I feel pretty confident telling you that it's the most inexpensive video monitor out there. It was when I bought ours (around $80) and when I Googled it, the lowest price was $57. It works wonderfully as well. You can see so clearly what your baby is doing. We didn't like the tiny screens on the other monitors. And trust me, it's loud. We actually have a sound monitor that we use for audio and sit away from the bed. I sit the video monitor on my nightstand for easy access. There is a on/off button for the screen so the monitor can be on, but the screen doesn't have to be lit up.

We researched the car seats a bit, including Consumer Reports I believe. The Key Fit 30 by Chicco was highly rated and pretty affordable. Additionally, and THANK THE LORD given the large size of our child, a friend had a smaller weight limit and had to get a new carseat before hers was ready for the big seat. Glad for THAT advice. Plus, forget ANY of the warnings about installing the base/carseat and taking it to the fire department, etc. This one is very easy to get installed in your car yourself, and to take the carrier part in and out as well.

I've included the Pack N Play on my list because we've used ours a lot. We actually had two hand me downs when Emersen was born. We put one in our room and one downstairs. This allowed her to nap in something other than someone's arms but not be all the way upstairs. We had Em in our room until she was cleared to be left to sleep "through the night" once she got her weight back up. Thank you Jesus because I'm a light sleeper and her squeaks/breathing kept me up. Now, if we had had to purchase this ourselves, I'm not sure now if I would pay extra for the bassinet/diaper changing attachments/abilities. But they were nice to have, though only used for a month or so. The diaper changing area (on the right - white) was nice at night in our room, but pointless really once she was in her crib obviously. Similarly for the bassinet ability - the floor of the pack n play basically just raises up - we only used this while she was sleeping in our room and then lowered it after. And the other "pack n play" which was a Jeep brand was only one level and worked fine. The best thing about having one was traveling to my parents or taking Em to work and on vacation. Traveling bed. I didn't use mine as a playpen like I should have. DO THAT. Teach them to entertain themselves while sitting in there playing so you can have them stay put more.

Some other advice on what to get, based on personal experience only remember, is to buy a chest of drawers/dresser that is lower. We just added the diaper changing pad/cover to create a changing table out of the dresser. It seemed pointless to buy a changing table to use for like a year; instead we have the dresser for her to use as she grows up. 

As for a crib, there are some super duper pretty and sturdy and massive cribs. We did not get one of those. We went pretty basic, made sure it wasn't drop side (which of course you can't even buy anymore), and were good with it. Our dresser and crib were Graco and ordered from Walmart.com, which is cheaper than buying in store at places like Toys R Us. My only complaint on ours is the stain is coming off on the rail where Emersen chewed on it. We didn't plan ahead to get the rail cover in place. Oops.

Other things we loved:

The jungle mat was the first thing Em could really play with as a baby. She got this for Christmas and we put her on it and she LOVED it. She laughed, kicked, flailed about, etc and she was only 2 months old! And she loved it even once she started rolling over some. This would keep her occupied for 20 - 30 minutes at a time. It makes sounds and lights up. Plus she fell in love with Mr. Giraffe as we called him.

The Bumbo looks super weird. And you might think it's weird and silly to get. But I really thought it was a handy purchase given it's affordability. It obviously is easy to clean. And they can start using it early on to stay put and work on sitting up. Plus, it's easy to take along as a portable high chair and sit on the table. There is even a little tray you can attach but Em was pretty good at getting it off. 

My last suggestion on what TO GET is to register for/purchase items that are fairly gender nuetral when it's a big ticket item. For example, the car seat, bath tub, bumbo, and strollers, which could all be used with subsequent children. You add children, but don't often get additional baby showers so be practical and plan as if there could be more and they might not all be princesses or vice versa.

I'll add a what not to get post eventually. May link up with a friend who wants to do a similar post next month as well so stay tuned!

Baby Needs - Part 1

As a result of posting pictures of Emersen with watermelon juice running down her face, another mom asked if I had found something to get watermelon juice stains out of clothes. I can't say that I've tried specifically to get watermelon juice out of clothes, but I have gotten strawberry juice out of white clothing as well as spit up, baby food and baby poop. And Dreft Stain Remover is always my answer. For all clothes for all sized people. 

When we bought our house, the couple moving out had a toddler. She ever so kindly brought me a baby present at our closing on the house (yes, they were special. Hope you're doing well Mays family!) that included the Dreft Stain Remover. I've used it ever since and make it a staple baby shower present as often as possible. Thinking about this reminded me of some other items I would recommend for new moms and babies, and often friends having their first child ask me what I used for laundry or what I included on our registry. With lovely sites like Facebook, I often put out a poll when I was experiencing something new or a problem with Emersen. So, I thought I'd just go ahead and put these out there. I may already have done this actually, especially because I talk about the Dreft a lot. But I'm including some items we "swore by" as new parents. Of course, they are also unique to our child for the most part - each baby is different and likes different things!

Trust me, you don't have to use Dreft detergent on your baby. Emersen has sensitive skin, and had HORRIBLE eczema as a baby. The All Free & Clear works just fine. And I'm fairly certain Up & Up for Target has a similar version that we've used successfully as well.

Yes it is different than Vaseline. Vaseline is like Kleenex - it's the brand of something, not the actual product. And Vaseline is petroleum jelly that has fragrance, which is sensitive skin's enemy. Therefore, Aquaphor works awesome because it soaks in pretty well and has no fragrance. Now, recently we did pick up some 100% petroleum jelly and have used it. It seems fine and is fragrance free. I just couldn't find it when I had been looking for something to use. Ultimately, the solution to Em's skin problems was getting of regular formula because of a milk protein allergy, but this did help some.

We had to start using bottles very early with Emersen because she wasn't gaining weight and I wanted to know exactly how much she was getting to be sure she was getting enough milk. We had some bottles already from hand-me-downs, but she would gag, choke and it would run everywhere. Until there was NUK, the orthodontic nipple, which is very similar for a baby that is breastfeeding. AMAZING difference for Emersen and drinking from a bottle. 

I had heard the pacifiers from the hospital were amazing. Emersen disagreed apparently. She never cared for it too much. It wouldn't stay in (which is common). So we tried brand loyalty and found that these worked for Emersen. She was such an oral oriented baby that we pushed the pacifier on her when she was very young. She was always sucking but wasn't always hungry. Trust me, I gave her all she wanted and she spit it all back up on me. Now, we never allowed Emersen to get attached to the pacifier. As she got older, we used it sometimes if she was upset. At the doctor, for example. Some naps she got it. And particularly when her first teeth were coming, we would give it to her to suck/chew on. After a week of not using it, unintentionally, I just put them away and never got them back out again. The pacifiers with this loop on the outside match up with pacifier holders better than the hospital ones as well.

The nightgowns that are zip sacks with arms are the best thing ever for newborns who don't like to be swaddled. Which Em would immediately get her arms out of her blanket. Then, she was so active even as a baby that she would wake herself up getting out of the blanket. We had one nightgown like this and loved it. They're VERY hard to find in this form, with the sleeves. But if you can, its just the best. As a parent, I'm a strict rule follower for all recommendations by pediatricians regarding blankets and stuffed animals, etc. Why risk what could happen with a blanket in the crib when you can get them cozy with layers. The sleep sack below is more common. In this case, it serves AS the blanket. You put them in pj's, then put them into the sack. When they're tiny babies, they don't move that much so not that big of a deal. But as they start kicking, and especially rolling, I can't imagine adding a blanket into the mix for them to get wrapped up in but unable to get themselves out. I'll say more about this below in regards to the monitor.

So baby socks. They're annoying. They do not stay on well AT ALL. I said all the time that you could be a millionaire if you could figure out how to get them to stay on without being very tight. None are perfect but there are a few we really liked. We only realized which we liked best because we had a bag full of hand me down socks to do trial and error tests. Old Navy, Baby Gap and Children's Place, in my opinion, have the best socks. They stay on well and obviously last a long time because ours are hand me downs and in great condition. Once they get old enough to stand/walk (even with assistance) get the kind with the size/brand in rubber writing on the bottom. Even know when Emersen can walk really well, we only put this type of sock on because without the rubber, it's simply too slippery. Toddlers are horribly clumsy and she falls all over the place without the help of a slippery situation.

Now, this was going to be one post. But once I got started, I thought of other things I would recommend. And things I would say you don't need. And these are both questions I've received from a couple friend who have had babies recently. Do I really need a diaper jeanie? Do I need a wipes warmer? Bassinet? Crib? Changing table? Pack n Play? I polled moms/parents on Facebook about a couple of these items myself. SO - I'll post again with additional items. It's like when you get married - you think you need every kitchen gadget known to man to start your home. But how many of you out there have a gadget drawer full of cool, but unused, stuff? Quesadilla maker - it's called a small skillet? Smoothie maker - called a blender? Fine China - get real. I'll try to prevent you from getting a Quesadilla maker for your baby if I can.