Book Review: Sex or not?

Tricked you with the title, eh? As I previously mentioned on the blog, I found a small publishing website that will send you free books from their selection if you will read the book, write a review on your blog, and provide a review on a retail site. Sign me up - I find that I get in book ruts often. I'll read a few of the same type and then get bored. From children's, to devotionals, to fiction, to mystery - there was a lot to choose from. I selected a book that is actual a 2-fer....2 books in one.

Purity's Big Pay Off/Premarital Sex is a Big Rip-off, edited by Donna Lee Schillinger, offered two perspectives on the issue of premarital sex. By two perspectives, I'm referring not to opposing positions, but rather opposing experiences. One side of the book reveals anecdotes of those who waited, and on the flip side (literally, you flip the book over) are those who "tried it out" with someone who wasn't their spouse.

Donna Lee Schillinger is a Christian writer and therefore has gathered together other Christians to share their personal stories.Obviously when "common folks" are writing the stories, as opposed to a professional author, it reads different and the style/tone varies with each experience. However, the issue remains the most important thing, rather than finding a flowery way to communicate ideas.

To evaluate the book, I asked the question "Would this be effective?" with someone that isn't married yet. As in, would this stop someone from having premarital sex? But, in reality, this book also provides some clarity to the person who didn't wait that and how they can pursue purity as well. Additionally, the book addresses purity as a goal, rather than simply not having intercourse before marriage; something I think is overlooked and is definitely a missing link in abstinence encouragement for those who are unmarried.

First and foremost, parents are responsible for teaching their children values and ideals that promote positive behavior, leaving risky sexual behavior as completely counter intuitive to their worldview. Wes and I feel that when you focus on what TO DO, rather than what NOT TO DO or what is OFF LIMITS, you'll be too busy to worry about what rules you might break. In a recent sermon, the pastor echoed this idea in that if you're raising your children to be world-changers, they're going to be too focused and busy to waste time drinking or driving drunk.

I say all that to say that this book might help supplement that teaching. It might give you the opportunity as a parent to share anecdotal evidence to support the lessons you are teaching without having to get too graphic or share too little or too much about your personal experiences. Kids sometimes think that's gross...Some brief examples from the book:

One writer includes that she was taught by her parents that sex was something that should be between man and wife, as well as being taught the same thing from a Christian perspective. She acknowledged that her abstinence success wouldn't have happened if it was only about not breaking her parents rule, but her personal relationship with Jesus Christ allowed her to reach her goal.

One writer in the book shares that her parents shared their love story, which obviously lead to her birth, on her birthday each year. She had that level of love, purity and commitment as her example to aim for in life and love.

On one side of the book is a husband who took the rip-off route, while the wife waited until their wedding night for her first time. Once dating, however, they committed to and maintained complete purity until they were married. Several of the writers, in fact, saved their first kiss for their wedding. Once they saw the extreme consequences that can result from sacrificing purity, they went to extremes to protect it with the person they wanted to marry.

Would I recommend this book? I wouldn't have said I was a naive person prior to reading this book, but some of the personal experiences shared by those who engaged in premarital sex were surprising to me. Multiple children out of wedlock, from different mothers/fathers, as well as multiple abortions for a young woman all shocked me a little. I mean, obviously pregnancy is always a potential result, but the personal heartbreak shared of the man that took part in getting a girl pregnant as well as repeatedly taking her to the abortion clinic revealed the other victims involved when two people go against God's best and take things into their own hands. This I think, makes this book worth reading for anyone.

As I mentioned previously, I am providing a book review for this book in exchange for free books to read via bookcrash.com. But I also enjoy hearing others thoughts on a book before reading it, so hopefully this will open up new type of books for reading to those who read the blog! Happy reading fellow nerds.